Still...with Me

Active Gardening can be profound. Especially.. when you pay attention, the hidden secrets in the continous chatter of your mind can have a whole different meaning. This happens to me and i guess to everyone when involved in an activity, an activity that you love and enjoy at that moment. Uninterrupted, Silently, on your own. In such situation, there is a state I believe when you are connected with God.

A bird flew by me, chirping and singing. It interrupted my thoughts. It landed on the bird feeder and began picking the grains as I watched. After a few minutes it flew away, and disappeared into the bushes.

I closed my eyes again. A gust of wind blew, which caused my wind chimes to dance. They made a joyful sound, but again I lost my concentration on God. I squirmed and wiggled on my knee and continued to fill in the pots. I looked up toward the blue sky and saw the clouds moving slowly toward the horizon. The wind died down. My wind chimes finally became quiet.

In a few minutes, I realized i Ias close to the fence and the neighbor's dog was sniffing me through the fence. I almost jumped out of my skin.I smiled, happy that he cared when there was someone around and guraded my house equally. I quickly tried once again to settle down, repeating the familiar song in my mind. I thought..Be still and know that YOU are around...

"I'm trying God. I really am," I whispered to the chatter in my brain.

The backdoor opened. My son walked outside. "What are you planting," he asked. "I was wondering where you were." I just chuckled... as he came over, stood around, observed me... turned around and went back inside to enjoy his TV time.

"Where's the quiet time?" I seemed to think to myself with these constant distractions, while still being completely involved in what I was doing. Then, I imagined my hearbeats as I picked up the heavy pot and positioned it closer to the door. There was no pain, only a beat that interrupted me yet again. This is impossible, I thought. There's no time to be STILL and to know that God is with me. There's too much going on in the world and entirely too much activity all around me.

I kept working on the annuals as my thoughts were churning. It continued as I saw the little red, orange,yellow, violet colored flowers adorning my pots and planted them in quick succession. "These little plants are going to be awake when I sleep", I thought. As I tuned behind,the neighbor passed by and waived his hand in acknowledgemnt.

I stood up, gazed at the finished assembly of my little pot pourri of annuals for my sweet heart, proud of myself...at that moment everything was STILL...That is when it suddenly flashed....to me.

God has been communicating with me this entire time...He sent the sparrows to enlighten me, thrill me,amaze me. He sent them over to be around us...when they built their nest in our little garden for their spring babies. He sent the Dog to remind me he is always guarding me from the evil, and provding me the security.

He sent that gentle breeze to remind me, that hope is on its way. Time is a healer and spring will bring new blooms, reminding me that HE exists. HE sent the neighbor to remind me I have friends....good friends, lovely friends...amazing friends.

HE sent my son, to remind me he has given me such a lovely family. HE let me imagine my 'heartbeats' to remind me the life he has given me..and here I am trying to find out if he was STILL around...while HE was busy reminding me that he is with me ALL the time.

Bird Feeder

Jet lags can be very productive. As I sit awake in the middle of the night, it gives me the time to hit the key board and produce this entry. It is the time when produtive thoughts occupy - the otherwise chattering and distracted mind. I want desperately for those twitters of my mind to be birds, to kiss the clouds, fly up to heaven and sing a song for those who endured such pain, for those who lived and died and changed the world forever around us. What intrigues me is when, I see people celebrating less the memory of happier times, but continuing to carry the painful events longer.....

As I keep staring, the golden rays of the sun slowly engulfed the back yard. It is spring again and I am loving it. The leaves were turning yellow, reflecting the sun and the crisp drops of dew were ready to let go the perch of the leaves. Birds were chattering away in the background.

Few of them fly down and circl the bird feeder, before settling around it. Pecking at the grains, fighting with each other..they made the patio a busy place. It did not last long, when a fawn colored squirrel came down the fence and hurried into the company of birds. The birds flew away even faster. Tail up and beady eyes, the squirrel feasted on few grains, dashed to the fence and went away. The birds came back again to continue... after the pause.

I kept watching the bird feeder, standing still and nurturing the birds...creating families around it. Birds seemed to love the feeder, and fearlessly circled around it..being together..being a family. Like we 'cultivate' friends - families have to be 'nurtured'..selflessly like the feeder. The only difference is we feed Time, Effort and Imagination to the near and dear around us....to create families. Families are the link to our past and the future....